Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
