You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
