he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
