No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
