What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
