I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
