After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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