I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
