This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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