Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
