The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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