She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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