the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
