so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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