I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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