they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My liver just broke up with me...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
