Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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