Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
