he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
