Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
