Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
