somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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