Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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