i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
