Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
