I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
