You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
