Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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