Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
