You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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