You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
