I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
