His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
