The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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