your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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