Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
