Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize