remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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