Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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