Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
