Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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