1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I will pee on everything he values.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
