I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
