so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
