You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
