2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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