and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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