I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
