this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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