Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
