I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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