Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
