i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you had me at cake vodka
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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