The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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