bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
