last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
