She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize