By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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