I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
