You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
